Do you like it when things change?
Probably not. Change is scary, right? Or if not scary, at very least it’s annoying, or has some kind of resistance to it.
We all know this – people don’t like change, hell there are specialists in ‘managing’ change, change is disruptive, challenging, messes with the status quo, and even if the status quo is pretty shit – it’s shit we know and that’s just easier to deal with than taking a leap in to the unknown…. Right?
How about transformation?
Doesn’t that sound more desirable? “I’m going to transform my life.” Sounds different to “I’m going to change my life.” … maybe because change feels like it could go either way – but to transform …
A caterpillar transforms in to a butterfly
An acorn transforms in to an oak
A transformer will convert one form of energy to another
(or might be a robot in disguise, transforming into things with amazing powers to save the world!)
Change can feel unstable, uncertain, potentially fleeting, or fluid. To transform means “to alter or be altered radically in form, or function.” With transformation there is usually long term, or permanence, of the end result. An oak tree is vastly different to an acorn, a butterfly is definitely not a caterpillar, and they can’t go back to their former state.
Sometimes we choose to change our lives and transform the way we think about, or approach something, consciously putting ourselves through a process to up-level. I have experienced several of these moments and they give you that warm cozy, let’s be honest, sometimes slightly smug, feeling.
Sometimes transformations come from events in our life that seem to knock us sideways, off-kilter, out of balance, or leave us in a spin, and give us little choice but to look at life in a different way. I have experienced several of these moments – and sometimes they feel like hell – but each time I’ve come out the other side and left something I didn’t need, behind me.
Either way, there is always a process of permanence with transforming, whether you’ve chosen it or not, whether you’re aware of each step as you take it or not, once you’ve really changed your situation, mindset, values, habits, beliefs … there’s no going back.
I am a member of a group called the Association of Transformational Leaders of Europe (I know, it’s a mouthful!) We are individuals who all work in different ways to help people transform their lives, or business owners transform the way they do business. I suppose we could say ‘change’ their lives, but transform has much more power. The interesting thing to me is that since I was invited to join, surrounded by people who actively choose to keep transforming their own life, my life has shifted in spades. Even this last weekend, supported by the understanding and knowing of fellow members, I was facilitated through snot and tears, in a massive letting go of old patterns and stepping out of my cocoon in to a bright new powerful space to inhabit. I have let go of the old stuff for good. I am transformed. Again!
Think of something in your life now that you’d like to change – it might be your job, smoking, a phobia or fear, the amount of free time or family time you have… it could be anything. Thinking about changing it probably brings up all the challenges those changes might bring, “If I change ‘x’ then ‘y’ will have to change and ‘z’ will be affected and that means ‘a’ has to make space ….” Or “I’ve always been this way – I can’t change.” Perhaps you feel you ‘should’ change but don’t want to?
Now think about how you might be able to transform your life (or the lives of others) if you made those changes. “If I learnt how to get over my fear of speaking I could get that promotion and that would give me more confidence in general, more self-worth, more money, and feel like I was making a contribution to the world.” “If I had more time to relax I’d reduce my stress levels, reduce my blood pressure and be healthier. I could breathe, and enjoy life again.”
Ultimately, transformations are more fulfilling than change, but we have to accept that in order to transform we have to make changes, potentially several, not always particularly easy changes, and really, fully, let go of things that no longer serve us. The question is – are the changes you need to make worth the transformation?
When the answer is yes, whether it is slow and steady, or sudden and dramatic, whether you make a conscious decision to undertake a process, or life throws you through an event that transforms your life; transformation can open your wings so you can fly, crack you open so you can grow. You can choose to go through it alone, but it’s so much easier with support.
If you’re looking to transform your life where can you go, or who do you have, for that support? If the answer is no-one …start looking!
What do you transform for other people in their life? or What would you like to transform in yours? Let me know in the comments below.
Words Make Waves – Speak With The Power Of Your Whole Voice